scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
wow bdsm is so cute
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