the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
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Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
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Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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