i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize