party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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