How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
