Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
