aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize