If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
smell my finger.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
