I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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