Kiss
Puke
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
