I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
