Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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