Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
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i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
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Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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