dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We left an ass print on the piano.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
