If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
