I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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