Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
