and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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