I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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