So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize