About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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