you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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