This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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