So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
