My sheets look like a crime scene.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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