So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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