i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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