Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
