I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
