Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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