we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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