I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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