There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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