Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
