sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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