She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
