I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize