shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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