You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
