Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
