I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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