Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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