I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize