the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It was like giving head to a cactus.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
