...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
