i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
