i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i think my cat just said my name.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
