Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
