worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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