everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
not ubering you a puppy
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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