Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
