He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
