My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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